(A living room. FATHER lies on the
couch, sleeping. A newspaper is draped
across him -- where he was holding it
when he succumbed to his nap.
Enter DAUGHTER. She carries a gift
bag.)
DAUGHTER
Dad -- wanna see what I got Mom for Christmas?
(This wakes him. He sits up.)
FATHER
Sure.
(She pulls a watch out of the bag.)
FATHER (CONT'D)
A watch? Lemme see that.
(She hands him the watch. He inspects
it.)
FATHER
This looks like an expensive watch.
DAUGHTER
A hundred and seventy-nine dollars.
FATHER
Where'd you get this?
DAUGHTER
Online.
FATHER
How'd you do that?
DAUGHTER
It's easy.
FATHER
The money. How'd you get the money?
DAUGHTER
Credit card.
FATHER
You don't have one.
DAUGHTER
I used yours.
FATHER
How'd you get my credit card?
DAUGHTER
It was in your wallet. Where you keep it.
(He checks his wallet and finds the
card.)
DAUGHTER
I put it back.
FATHER
I didn't say you could do that.
DAUGHTER
C'mon, Dad. I needed the card.
(Indicating the watch in his hand.)
FATHER
You can take this back and never do that again.
DAUGHTER
You can't take it back. It's the internet.
FATHER
You can send it back.
DAUGHTER
Where?
FATHER
Where you got it!
DAUGHTER
Mom lost her watch. You should have gotten her one.
FATHER
She can buy herself a watch when she wants one.
DAUGHTER
She didn't.
FATHER
That's not the point.
DAUGHTER
What is the point?
FATHER
My credit card bill is the point.
DAUGHTER
You use it.
FATHER
It's mine.
DAUGHTER
I needed it.
FATHER
Wait 'til your mother hears about this!
(Enter MOTHER. He quickly puts the
watch in his pocket.)
MOTHER
Hears about what?
FATHER
Nothing.
MOTHER
What?
FATHER
Nothing. Forget about it.
MOTHER
Why are you arguing with her like this?
FATHER
It's nothing. We're...fine.
MOTHER
What is it?
FATHER
Nothing.
(She demands to know.)
MOTHER
I wannna know what's going on.
(He's been here before and doesn't like
where it's going. He shakes his head,
as if he's now hoping it'll all go
away.)
DAUGHTER
He can't tell you, Mom.
MOTHER
Ah -- talking about my Christmas present?
DAUGHTER
Sort of.
MOTHER
Silly thing to argue about.
(She scolds her husband.)
MOTHER
You should know better. You can't win an argument with a
teenager.
DAUGHTER
No, you can't.
MOTHER
(still scolding her husband)
Just disengage.
(Mother exits. They wait a moment.)
FATHER
Look what you did.
DAUGHTER
I didn't do that.
FATHER
You stole my credit card and she's mad at me!
DAUGHTER
It's not stealing! I put it back.
FATHER
Do you know how those things work?
DAUGHTER
Of course! You think I'm stupid?
FATHER
If you're not, you're doing a pretty good job of pretending!
DAUGHTER
I am not stupid!
FATHER
Then you're a thief.
DAUGHTER
I'm not a thief!
(MOTHER storms in.)
MOTHER
What in the world!
DAUGHTER
He called me stupid. And a thief.
MOTHER
(To FATHER)
What is wrong with you?