(DOCTOR, WIFE, and HUSBAND sit in the psychiatrist's office.)
DOCTOR
(to HUSBAND)
So you disagree.
WIFE
Yes.
DOCTOR
I'd rather him answer.
WIFE
He can't describe it.
DOCTOR
Let him try.
HUSBAND
I don't disagree, but I don't think I needed to come here.
DOCTOR
You feel that your anxiety is within the normal range.
HUSBAND
Absolutely.
WIFE
It's not normal.
HUSBAND
Everybody has anxiety.
WIFE
Not like yours.
DOCTOR
Does he have panic attacks?
HUSBAND
No.
WIFE
What!
HUSBAND
I don't.
WIFE
You panic all the time. About everything. About anything!
HUSBAND
I don't have attacks.
WIFE
You panic.
HUSBAND
Sometimes I panic. But they aren't attacks.
DOCTOR
Do you get short of breath?
HUSBAND
No.
WIFE
Remember when we ran out of hot water?
HUSBAND
I wasn't short of breath.
WIFE
You were clutching your chest.
HUSBAND
I was freezing. That wasn't a panic attack.
WIFE
You screamed for an hour. It took an hour for you to catch your breath?
HUSBAND
I was not screaming.
WIFE
(to the DOCTOR, explaining)
I ran the dishwasher and washer and then he ran out of hot water while he
was in the shower.
HUSBAND
I still had soap in my hair.
WIFE
He got out and waited until we had hot water again. You would have thought
his head would fall off.
HUSBAND
That feels really slimy, having soap in your hair.
WIFE
You should have felt the hot water running out and rinsed. Who needs to
take showers that long?
HUSBAND
It was not a long shower!
WIFE
What do you do in there?
HUSBAND
(exploding)
I shower!
WIFE
Easy.
(to the DOCTOR)
See what I mean?
DOCTOR
Does he worry a lot?
WIFE
That's all he does.
HUSBAND
For good reason.
DOCTOR.
What's the reason?
HUSBAND
I hate my job. My kids are driving me crazy. I'm broke. And my body's falling
apart. Plus I have goals. Real, lifelong goals - and there's no time for
those. So I'm sort of an unfulfilled person.
DOCTOR
What goals?
HUSBAND
I'm an artist. Pottery.
WIFE
Nobody's stopping you from making pots.
HUSBAND
Where in that house am I suppose to work?
WIFE
Clean up the basement. It would make a nice studio.
HUSBAND
We don't have the money for that.
WIFE
It doesn't cost much to sweep and paint.
HUSBAND
Where am I supposed to get the money for a wheel?
WIFE
Buy the damn wheel!
HUSBAND
You expect me to buy something when you say it like that?
WIFE
(to the DOCTOR)
See what I mean? He whines and complains all the time. He's always irritable.
Always tense. You wouldn't have known this if I hadn't come here with him.
Don't you think it was a good idea for me to be here.
DOCTOR
I think so. Do you have trouble sleeping?
WIFE
Always.
HUSBAND
(conceding this)
I've always had a problem with insomnia.
(He writes a prescription and gives it to him, along with a box of samples.)
DOCTOR
Here. Why don't you try this for a couple of weeks and see if it helps.
HUSBAND
Side effects?
DOCTOR
There might be some in the beginning, but why not find out for yourself?
I'm afraid if we focus on that - that is…suggest what they will be
- you'll experience those. Everybody's different.
HUSBAND
Jesus, I wish I had stock in these pharmaceuticals.
(DOCTOR chuckles.)
I don't have any stock. Never could save enough money to get started. Of course, I should be thankful after today.
DOCTOR
Why, what happened today?
HUSBAND
You didn't hear?
DOCTOR
Hear what? I've seen patients all morning.
HUSBAND
The market tanked.
DOCTOR
It did?
WIFE
Oh God. They say Black Monday was a picnic in the park compared to this.
You know, I guess that is one thing we can be really, really thankful for.
HUSBAND
You're right. Everybody lost their shirt and we didn't have one to lose.
DOCTOR
How much did it drop?
HUSBAND
The DOW lost, what was it? I don't keep up with it. Three hundred?
WIFE
Three thousand.
DOCTOR
Three thousand!
HUSBAND
I think that's what it was.
(DOCTOR begins to tremble. His breathing becomes short. He gasps for air. He stumbles to the sink and pours himself a glass of water. Wiping sweat from his brow and loosening his tie, he's barely able to drink it.)
DOCTOR
I, uh, excuse me…I'll be all right in a second.
end of excerpt