Characters
RUTH, mid fifties

LORRAINE, a youthful 60 with a hind of glamour

BILL, 50

Time….present
Setting…LORRAINE'S HOUSE

© 2003 by Samuel M. Post

(LORRAINES'S house. A well appointed parlor. Antiques. Soft Christmas music in the background. Something classical, instrumental.

RUTH, LORRAINE, and BILL are relaxed, in soft light, enjoying cocktails. LORRAINE might be so relaxed that she's lying down with her feet up.)

RUTH
I love your new rug.

LORRAINE
(insecure)
Do you really?

RUTH
It's fabulous.

BILL
Did Yuntz find it?

LORRAINE
He sure did.

BILL
I always said, if you need something, ask Yuntz. He's a crazy son of a bitch, but he can find what you need - if he knows the room you're talking about - and if you give him time.

(indicating an antique lamp)

He got me that lamp.

RUTH
It's gorgeous.

LORRAINE
I love it.

BILL
That's what he's best at - knowing what will work. I just told him I needed a lamp. About three weeks later, he brought it over.

LORRAINE
That's the secret. With my rug, I told him I wasn't in a hurry - "just call me when you find a nice Persian."

RUTH
He's such a weird little man.

LORRAINE
With a tiny, tiny penis - I'm sure.

(BILL rises with an empty glass.)

BILL
I need another one.

(to LORRAINE)

You okay?

(She hands him her glass to be refilled.)

LORRAINE
Please, darling.

(to RUTH)

Isn't he a dear?

RUTH
(to BILL)
You didn't ask me.

BILL
I know you want one.

RUTH
You're right.

(BILL takes RUTH'S glass and exits.)

LORRAINE
Does he look like he's gained weight?

RUTH
That's what I was thinking.

LORRAINE
In his butt.

RUTH
And belly.